*le sigh....*
Yeah, Promising beginning huh? Well..as I am trying to keep the ol' temper in check, a sigh is all I could muster at the time.
Why, you ask?
Well, that, my fearless reader (if in fact, I get any...lol) is one hell of a long story. So let me make this short and sweet. (and preferably, non boring!)
All of us have one. The one friend who always seems "needy". Who can't seem to stand on their own without the help of others. Not that it's a bad thing. We all need help sometimes. Believe me, I do not mind helping someone out.
BUT....
Here is my dilemma:
Say the friend in question seemed to never improve? Despite ever effort you have exerted to give this person a leg up in life, nothing has come of it? They continue to stay at a stale mate, never seeming to want to move forward. Only to bask in the joy of paying no bills, having 3 free meals a day, and BLEEDING OTHER PEOPLE DRY!!!!
*breathe in...breathe out.....screeaammmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!*
Okay, Okay. Sorry about that. I just needed a moment for composure.
I swear I am NOT heartless wretch. But..tell me, where is the line? When do you go from being the "helpful" friend, to the one who has had enough, is fed up, and can't take it anymore? Don't misconstrue what I am saying. I love all of my friends, and would do anything I could to help any of them. However, it is said "God helps those who help themselves.".
But...what if they don't seem to want to help themselves? That they are simply content with their lot in life? And no matter what you do: what hints you drop, what things you say, NOTHING seems to convince them otherwise?
I know...I know....a true friend is always there for you. That may be true, but does the person the friend is helping have the right to take advantage??? Seriously..that's how it feels. And I hate feeling this way, but I can't argue with the way things are.
I don't know anymore. What is the right move? The right thing to do. Seriously..I really don't know. All I do know is, my patience ran out a long time ago. It has been nearly a YEAR and nothing changes. Any advice would be welcome....I hate feeling like a horrible person for having had enough of the freeloading!!!
Gently cut them loose.
ReplyDeleteThere's being a good friend, there's being there for someone, and there's mopping up someone's sh*t for the rest of their life because they're incapable of doing it themselves.
I've had an energy vampire friend, and it's no fun. They will suck the life out of you, bleed you dry, then move onto the next person without a thought for you, because they're so self-obsessed it's alllllllll about them!
Tell me about it. Unfortunately..it's Hank as well who must cut them off. and he's the kind of person who finds it so hard to turn away, even when it is whats best for all involved. I love him for it, but unfortunately, it is earning him quite a bit of being walked all over. :(
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